Here’s my theory. The Harry Potter trio are actually representations of the other houses. Hermione is Ravenclaw. Ron is Hufflepuff. Harry is Slytheryn. They’re all in Gryffindor because they asked. In fact, everyone in that house could have been in another house if they hadn’t asked to be in Gryffindor. You have be ask to be in Gryffindor because their most defining feature is bravery and anyone can choose to be brave.
THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME
Okay I know the time frame totally doesn’t work but- Imagine Draco Malfoy getting all puffed up and arrogant and starting to say “I don’t think my father-” and Harry slyly interjecting “-the inventor of toaster strudel-” “-would be too happy to-” and then stopping in confusion when Harry, Hermione, and every other Muggleborn in earshot start practically crying with laughter.
Lupin finding the kids with depression and teaching them Patronuses so the dementors don’t affect them as much
McGonagall keeping a stash of chocolate all of Harry’s third year because she knows which kids will be most affected by the Dementors and also which kids she can bring into her office with that excuse because they’re having a breakdown
Hogwarts teachers desperately trying to make sure all their students with depression avoid the Dementors
Alternately, the kids with depression being the first to face off against a Dementor because they know all the tricks.
The kids with depression defending the other kids when one passes by because they know how to function in the grey.
The kids with depression having the biggest, gaudiest patronuses because they have power.
They’ve already learned how to survive a Dementor long before they had magic.
ideal hogwarts students:
- aromantic wizards being absolutely immune to amortentia, it only smelling like the ingredients put into it when they smell it, and teaching other students how to identify the stuff on any food or drink
- gender confused ravenclaw leafing through glossarys of pronouns and accidentally getting 80% of the class to stay up leafing through similar glossarys, screaming out pronouns in the common room when they think they found one that may fit
- slytherin students sometimes taking polyjuice potion to pose as one of their depressed members who was having a bad day and really couldn’t bring themselves to classes
- kids who read about the second great wizarding war and, when reading about Severus Snape’s brave acts, argue “well yeah ok but he was kind of an asshole still?”
the main thing jkr should be regretting about harry potter is telling her audience that you should forgive six years of abuse if the abuser in question wanted to shag your mum.
Being quite clever, Lily waited until a day when her father was thoroughly frazzled, beset on all sides by sycophants at an MLE affair, becoming shouty and very contrary, and certain to forget the conversation as soon as it was over.
"Dad, did you lose your Parselmouth abilities after you beat Voldemort?" she asked.
"Yes," Harry said, perplexed. "Why?"
"No reason. Oh, look. Is that James over there stealing the keys to the holding cells?"
And when Harry whirled about to locate the inveterate vexation that was James, she skipped off to the courtyard.
"It’s a bit worrisome," she said.
"Ssssomething of an underssstatement," answered the snake.
harry and ginny unwittingly find themselves in muggle london a little too close to halloween
okay so imagine an au where the potters live. harry dates oliver wood briefly. james hears of this and pulls harry aside. stares him in the eye with a deadly serious face
“he’s a Keeper”
You made an entire AU that would alter almost every facet of that series
For a pun
You’re a beautiful person.
I’m the person who knows their Hogwarts house but not their blood type
I know mine. it’s
this post just got 209348451 times better okay
can you imagine remus harping on sirius all the time for smelling like a wet dog, and sirius one day gets so tired of it that he just bathes himself in amortentia so he’ll smell like things remus loves. and then he just smugly goes up to remus, “what do i smell like now?” and remus just rolls his eyes like, “you smell like chocolate and wet dog, nice try covering it up.”